Reviving my blog to talk about Tiller

I've been reading a lot of news articles and blogs about the Tiller murder. The chatter in certain circles reveals the difficulties the pro-life side has in getting its "we condemn this" message to stick. Apparently, few believe that the vast majority of pro-lifers really do condemn it. I get the idea that there's a widespread belief that the pro-life stance is inherently hypocritical and/or that the view of abortion as murder justifies, in the pro-life mind, the murder of abortionists (that it makes twisted sense because the pro-life argument and community are systemically twisted.) Lots of somebodies out there are spending a lot of words and thoughts reflecting on whether that lone act of murder strengthens or weakens the pro-life case. (Which, to my mind, says a lot about the writers--that they are keyed in on power and influence and "who wins" more than they are on literal life and death, but that's another topic.) But what about the pro-abortion side? What strengths and weaknesses does the Tiller episode reveal there?

What I haven't seen much discussion of is the utter and complete illogic of the pro-abortion condemnation of the murder. Upon what basis do they claim it a "heinous" act? The same logic which allows abortion, when left to run its full course, finds no road-block at "shooting in cold blood someone who is doing something you think is bad." If the decision to terminate or continue a pregnancy is "between a woman and her conscience" then the decision to terminate or continue an enemy's life is also a matter of private personal conscience. The logic of abortion as a private matter admits no impedance from phrases such as "unless it harms someone else." Where, then, is that phrase introduced into the pro-abortion lexicon? Is it not hypocritical to refuse limitations to privacy in one instance but to uncritically assume them in another? (And then to sniff at pro-lifers as if they are the ones who don't "get it" that consistency makes or breaks the argument.) To be consistent, the pro-abortion side should be saying, "It was a private personal matter between the gunman and his conscience; we cannot impose our sense of morality or our religious convictions on him or limit his freedom to act in accordance with the dictates of his conscience." Since that's not what they are saying, I'd like to know where in the flow of logic the new ideas of "harm" and "protection of the rights of others" entered. And how they justify considerations that previously were anathema.

More movies

I just remembered three more movies I watched in December: Stalag 17, The Librarian (#2), and North and South.

Unfortunately, the reason these were recalled to mind is that the library thinks I haven't yet returned them (but I know I have) and says I owe $5 (and counting) on each one. :-( Hate it when that happens.

Movies I've watched recently

In the theater: Eragon
I definitely liked it better than die-hard fans of the book did.

Night at the Museum
Lighthearted fun

The DaVinci Code
Let me just say it was bad and leave it at that.

Christmas Day 2006

The challenge: keeping six kids happy and occupied for two extra days till Dad gets home for the grand gift-opening and food-snarfing festivities. He says go ahead without him. I say no way. We compromise and allow the kids to open a Disney Scene It game and Pirates of the Caribbean dvd. Couple that with hiking (shown in the photo above), baking, games, and basketball, and I think we just might be able to hold on till the 27th.

Snow Day!

Yesterday, Matthew's fondest wish came true. (That's not him in the photo above, by the way; it's Steve and Ben.) Every day when he arrives at school, he greets his principal with, "Mr. Schulze, can we have a snow day today? Please?" It doesn't matter if it's sunny and 80 degrees--Matthew still asks for a snow day. After two years of hoping, yesterday was the day. Over a foot of snow fell on us, and the radio announcer gave the glad tidings at 5 a.m. "No school today at Zion Lutheran, Faith Lutheran or District 154 in Marengo." And there was much rejoicing! Much going back to sleep, too, in those nice cozy flannel-sheeted beds. I didn't crawl out of mine until almost 9:00.

And then the fun began. At least parts of it were fun. Steve didn't think the 64 acres (well, maybe not quite that much, though it felt like it) of driveway to shovel was much fun, but he got out there and did it anyway, with a little help from some of the rest of us. My back is a bit sore today. A perfect excuse to not rub Steve's back, which is a LOT sore.

All the kids got outside for sledding, in spite of the fact that there isn't anything remotely resembling a hill for miles around. At least not anything a northeast-Nebraska-Bohemian-Alps gal like me would call a hill. But the neighbor graciously allowed the kids to slide down the gentle slope in his yard, and that was nice. Ben spent more time outside than he did inside yesterday. He loves snow.

Susannah and I pulled out the cookie recipes and started our Christmas baking. Carols blaring from the boombox, we mixed and rolled and spritzed the day away. Snitched, too, a little. The other kids helped some in bits and pieces. The kitchen is a popular place when peanut brittle and chocolate/mint cookies are involved.

Some days, it's heavenly to just stay home.

Hallelujah!

I've been sidelined by a foot injury for six weeks now. Something called a neuroma, or maybe sesemoiditis, my athletic-trainer sister tells me. Whatever you call it, it has been a major cramp in my style since I haven't been able to run or even walk much. But finally, FINALLY this week things are looking up. For one thing, I got a different pair of shoes that doesn't pinch or squish and lets my poor old foot spread out wherever it wants. For another, I haven't worn high heels or dress shoes for days (except a couple hours for church). Or maybe it was just a matter of time. Whatever the reasons, I'm back at it--my foot feels good and I've been able to go out walking a couple of times with no painful results. Yippee!

Perfect timing--now maybe I can exercise off the 3 pounds I gained over Thanksgiving before I put on 5 more at Christmas. :p

Can I figure out how to post a photo?

Let's see! This is a photo of me and my family at oldest son Joseph's graduation last spring.

Sometimes it's really, really hard to be around teens.

A couple of the kids at school got caught doing something they should not have been doing, and my response has been all over the map--from anger to compassion to apathy and back again. How could these kids be so DUMB? Why do they run after other gods as if their lives depended on it? Why are they so blind to the good news that is right in front of them--that they don't have to be trapped in the crap of this world, they don't have to look for cheap thrills to spice up their lives, and they don't have to thumb their noses at whatever segments of the adult world have offended them. I ask myself how we in our little Christian school have let these kids down. What could we have done differently? What should we do now? How do we help them see how very ugly and sordid those things are that they consider so appealing? How do we show them their wounds and help them see the Healer?

I'm convicted of my own cowardice and silence in not more boldly holding out the word of life.

I'm making progress...

For awhile now, I've been working on my cardiovascular fitness. Mostly that means I walk...a lot. I haven't exactly become what one could call buff, and I won't be running marathons anytime soon, but I'm here to tell you that those fitness experts who say walking isn't real exercise are wrong. True, nobody ever got fit walking a quarter mile a day at a pace of 2 miles per hour, but if you really get your buns moving, walking can provide a great workout. A leisurely stroll won't cut it, but fast walking that gets the heart rate up has been for me the perfect conditioning exercise, a great stepping stone to running. I spent all summer walking...four and five and six miles a day at a pace of say twelve to fourteen minutes per mile...with the hope of someday working up to running. My goal was to be able to run a mile nonstop before the summer's end, and my bigger goal is to someday run a whole 5K. I started by jogging a quarter mile here and there during my walks. I'd run awhile, walk awhile. And the running wasn't all that hard. I walk so fast and furiously that it was almost a relief to break into a run at times! The mile milestone came and went. I kept at it. After awhile I could run 1.5 miles, and I thought that was about my limit. Not bad, I thought.

So today I hit that mile-and-a-half mark and decided to just keep going. I finally had to quit when a thunderstorm and an uphill grade arrived at the same time. When I looked at my pedometer, I discovered that I'd gone 2.5 miles!! That's farther than I've run for YEARS. And I owe it all to walking. My bad feet would have given out long ago if they hadn't gradually gained strength from walking. Now they rarely bother me. I'm beginning to think that the 5K goal isn't as far-fetched as I thought it was!!

Sing with me now--put one foot in front of the other...

I survived the first week of school...

One week down--35 to go. That makes it sound like I hate school, like I'm a kid counting down to the day the pain stops. While I can't say I'm entirely thrilled to be teaching school or sending my kids off to school, it isn't THAT dreadful, either. It's just a lot of hard work. I'd rather have the freedom to sleep in, spend my time how I wish, choose for myself which people to spend time with in a given day, enjoy the luxury of feeling guilty for not accomplishing tasks that no one but me cares whether they get done or not anyway, interact with my kids on my own terms, not gathered around a mandatory science fair project that both they and I detest. I'd rather have no responsibilities except to please myself and decide for myself how I will order my world. Or anyhow that's what my tired mind and body sometimes tell me at the end of a long hard day. Really, though, I'm mostly finding these days that work is a good thing. Taking responsibility is a good thing. Accepting willingly tasks I wouldn't choose for myself is a good thing. Growing up is a good thing.

It's been a long time coming. I've spent too many hours resenting things I had to do or situations I had to handle but didn't want to, too many hours wishing for something different. This year is somehow different. Maybe it has to do with accepting and finding beauty in powerlessness while simultaneously accepting and finding beauty in responsibility. I don't have a choice; this year I HAVE to work so we can make ends meet. Consequently, I HAVE to send the kids to school even though we'd all rather go back to homeschooling this year. I HAVE to get up early, I HAVE to supervise everything that goes on in this house while Steve is away, I HAVE to eat right and exercise if I want to stay healthy, I HAVE to forge relationships with stuents and co-workers. Those are not situations from which I can remove myself--I'm in them and have to be in them. I have no power, in these areas, to make my life different.

Choice comes only in how I respond. Responsibility comes in acknowledging the effects of my response. I can chafe (and rub myself raw in the process) or I can rest. I can spend my time fighting what is, or I can look for God in it and "do the work He has given me to do before the night comes when no one can work." He assigns; I respond with effort and enthusiasm and gladness, or I respond with whining and complaining or apathy. I invest myself in staying, or I invest myself in running away. In a very real and strange way, I'm beginning to see the beauty of staying. I'm working harder than I ever have in my life, doing things I don't necessarily always love. I have less free time, less freedom, fewer big choices open yet more small decisions and responsibilities that land on my plate--and in spite of that I have more peace, more joy, more love, more trust that God is in his heaven and what I thought was wrong with the world might not be so wrong after all. The unchosen tasks of a day are his assignment to me; accepting the loss of my right to choose for myself has opened my eyes to see his good gifts. I'm seeing them everywhere lately--the love of God poured out in Christ Jesus is all around me, in me. Life can be hard, but God is so, so good.

I guess it's true: it's in losing my life--losing myself in him--that I find it.